GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL AT BUSHWOOD

020819 | monday

GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL AT BUSHWOOD

Well, this weekend's activities took me to The Summit Course at Cordierra in Edwards which proceeded to kick my sorry ass and let me know that I am not only a poor excuse for a golfer but a bit of a fish-out-of-water when it comes to hangin' with the social elite. I was deemed the first person to sport a chain wallet and earrings (gender: male) to grace the links at Cordierra and am certain that I would have been booted from the joint post-haste had I not been among the company of aforementioned "social elite". It was like caddy "day" at the pool in Caddyshack. Without the boobs and Baby Ruth, of course.

I shot about 150 (if you don't count the 73 Mulligans) and managed to donate about 36 balls to the surrounding wilderness. I am definitely no Danny and try as I might, I simply couldn't bring myself to "be the ball". I did carve some wicked divots, however… so the groundskeeper is assured a job for a few more weeks at least.

After doing my damnedest to bring shame to my family (both Ma and Pa are excellent golfers), I took in the new film Blue Crush which is not going to win any awards (unless, of course, the Academy is adding "Best Fat Man in a Speedo" or "Teeny-Weeniest Bikini" to their agenda). Which, come to think of it, might not be such a bad idea…